Monday, June 12, 2006
my defining characterestic about a year or so ago was tt i hardly lost my temper, hardly lost my cool, hardly cared abt what people thought of me and hardly dwelled on issues. now, its quite the opposite. i'm like super emo n pissing him as well as myself off.
that said, i feel like i'm totally losing it. i read btw every line(yes, even when there's no reason to) and i question things a lot. along with extreme paranoia, i'm pushing him away(involuntarily) and messing up the very thing i'd do just about anything to hold on to.
its like i'm holding in my hand, this very delicate, very beautiful feather. if i hold on to it too tight, i damage it. if i loosen my grip, the wind might just blow it away. yea, so maybe i'm in some lose-lose situation.
but, whatever i've said, whatever i've done, is not out of malice or cunning.
somewhere, deep down inside, i guess i'm hurting too.
i need a hug or a band aid.
)=
once loved.
2:59 AM
